Dating Corner

  I Think I Just Used Up My 25,000 Words for the Day.

Eating Utensils Not Required But Highly Recommended.

An Evening Out With My Father.

I Get Misty Just Holding Your Hand.

Perhaps We Can Make It To The Next Football Game.

His and Her Idea of the Start of A Good Relationship.

Things To Do.


Guess Who's Coming To Dinner.

I recently had lunch at a restaurant with some fellow singles. We had a wonderful fellowship. I was sitting at a table with two other ladies and a gentlemen. I always find myself talking about singles' issues. It is my passion. We spoke of the high divorce rate in the country. Some time during the conversation one of the ladies at the table told me a story about a friend of her's. It goes something like this.

Her friend was in a relationship with a guy for several years. We will name her friend Equitarianda (Tari for short) and the guy, Pete. All the while Tari was dating Pete, those around her tried to hook Tari up with another guy that they thought would be just perfect for Tari. Tari was in the relationship with Pete but the relationship had challenges. After a not so pleasant breakup with Pete, Tari met the guy that those around her had thought was perfect for her. Eventually, Tari married the guy.

That was the gist of the story. The lady that was seated at the table with me went on to tell me that when Tari was asked how the relationship with the guy that she married differed from the relationship with Pete, Tari answered that cultural issues were a factor in the relationship with Pete. Culture was not a part of the relationship that led to marriage. I guess that in some way this lady was saying that the lack of the cultural issue caused Tari's relationship with the guy she married to work out better.

What could I say to that statement? Does it affect me? Not at the moment. Would that mean that the high rate of divorce in the United States is due to relationships with this cultural issue? The dating of Tari and Pete was an individual case that this woman knew about. Is it a blanket issue across the board?

I thought to explore whether the impact of cultural differences differ in some way from any other issue between 2 distinctly different individuals. Let's explore this together.

Let's define culture. In the Webster dictionary one definition for culture is, a: the integrated pattern of human knowledge, belief, and behavior that depends upon man's capacity for learning and transmitting knowledge to succeeding generations b: customary beliefs, social forms, and material traits of a racial, religious, or social group.

What is at issue here? Was she saying cultural and meaning ethnicity?

Webster has defined ethnic as a: of or relating to large groups of people classed according to common racial, national, tribal, religious, linguistic, or cultural origin or background. Another definition for ethnic is a member of an ethnic group; especially: a member of a minority group who retains the customs, language, or social views of the group.


One purpose for dating is to find out about someone you may be interested in. Dating is defined as, an appointment to meet at a specified time; especially: a social engagement between two persons that often has a romantic character. This should not be confused with courtship, which would follow if you so choose.

I was thinking about relationships and began to feel that being without an intimate relationship has its advantages. I felt a pang of burden when I thought of being in an intimate relationship. I thought about the work it was going to take to contribute to that other person. I would not be able to float about like a butterfly. My desires would have to be addressed with consideration of someone else, all the time. Relationships are work. If you find yourself wanting to be in a relationship, realize that it will take being considerate of another. If you do not like the person's history or ideals, as with anything, that person is not for you.

I like to dance, some people do not. I like the opera and ballet. I was raised in the northeastern part of the United States. I attended an inner city high school. Are these also cultural issues that should be considered by a potential date before he asks me out? Any relationship takes patience, understanding and a respect for what makes that person uniquely who they are. Each relationship has its challenges. The majority of people have not grown up next door to their spouse. If they have, each household was run differently.

I like the idea of dating, falling in love and getting married. However, a relationship that leads to marriage will take more than that initial emotional flight of euphoria to sustain it.

There are many things about people that will be different, culture/ethnicity being one. Don't allow fear to limit you, but don't expect any relationship to be without challenges. Some challenges that one person may welcome and thrive on may be the challenges that another person may find insurmountable.

God's Word instructs us to not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. After that, you should allow Him to help you during the dating process.

Email me your comments. I will post some of the responses in next month's issue.
Email to: Marybernice
Please put the following in the subject line:
Culturally sound.


Dating Tip of the Week:

A relationship worth having is worth the time it takes to develop it.



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