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“And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.” – Ephesians 4:32 (NKJV)

If we keep this perspective on forgiveness, walking in love and forgiveness towards others will become progressively easier. Instead of being offended by small transgressions, we won’t even take account of the wrongs done against us. We will forgive, let it go, and forget it before it even has a chance to bother us. Holding on to unforgiveness, offense, and strife can cause us to be tormented. It is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. The cure for being offended and feeling tortured in our souls because of what others have done to us is to forgive them.

You might be thinking, ‘that’s easier to say than to do.’ You would be correct. It is not the easiest thing in the world to forgive someone when they have done you great harm and wounded you, whether it’s physical, mental, or emotional. So what can you do if unforgiveness is holding you down and torturing you? Trying harder to forgive isn’t going to work. It’s just going to cause you to be more frustrated. Instead, focus on God’s love and forgiveness towards YOU. The more you see how much God has already forgiven you by sending Jesus to die for your sins, the more you will see how much He loves you. The more you see His love towards you, the freer you will become from all that is unlovely.

The more your heart is filled with a revelation and sense of God’s infinite love towards you, the less room there will be for hurtful things. If your heart is filled with God’s love toward you, there won’t be room for hatred, strife, and bitterness. If you have been deeply wounded by traumatic events, things might not change overnight. But, as you focus on what Jesus did on the cross, paying an insurmountable debt because of His great love toward you, the sins that people have done against you will begin to look smaller, and it will become easier and easier to forgive and let it go. You may not ever forget those traumatic events, but they do not have to haunt you and follow you around like a dark cloud.

Imagine putting a glass of milk in the sink. Turning on the faucet and letting the water slowly pour into the glass of milk. First, it starts to fill up and overflow the sides. As the water continues to flow into the glass, the milk begins to look thinner. Then it starts to look more like cloudy water than milk. If you leave the faucet running, it will eventually flush all of the milk away and be a clear glass of water. It will be so clear that you won’t be able to tell it ever had milk in it. That’s what your heart can be like. If you are being tortured by all of the unforgiveness in your heart, then the only way for it to be washed away is for something else to come and take its place. You need the love of God for you personally to fill your heart so that it washes away all the hurt and unforgiveness so you can live as free as a servant that has been forgiven an insurmountable debt.